How To Apologize After Breaking Up – The Most Effective Way To Say Sorry
Ever watched a horse racing jumps race. The Grand National is a prime example where a horse has successfully negotiated jump after jump and is being hailed the winner only to fall at the last hurdle.
Well, the magic of making up process is a little like a grand national race. After being dumped, a person does all the right things in getting their ex back yet, when they come to the crunch which is the last hurdle – the apology, they blow it. Why? Because they forget the one important element in how to apologize after breaking up…and that’s being sincere.
All the good work is wasted because most people can smell an insincere apology a mile off. This is covered in great detail by T W Jackson in The Magic Of Making Up. He calls it The Clean Slate Method and that’s what it will teach you to do…start with a clean slate but more importantly, help you craft a sincere apology which will help you safely negotiate the last hurdle in making it back to the arms of your ex.
What Is An Insincere Apology
People who get dumped out of a relationship usually do so because of some misdeamenor they committed. Sure, there are times when someone just falls out of love or has found in someone else all the things they want in a partner but for those who did the wrong thing then you need to heed this advice.
The key to how to apologize after breaking up lies in being sincere. Let’s take a look firstly at what you shouldn’t do:
- Get into an argument about who is right and who is wrong.
- Trying to get your ex to take some responsibility for what happened.
- Apologizing and then showing complete insincerity by saying…”but you have to admit I…”
What Makes A Sincere Apology
The word “but” is one of the biggest killers of an effective apology that it needs to be watched carefully. “I’m so sorry but…” smacks of insincerity and will just be proof for your ex that you are not really sincere.
The key to the magic of making up with an apology lies in four main ingredients. Let’s take a brief look at those. They include:
- Acknowledging the feelings of your ex but in a way that you display feelings about their trauma. In other words start with the word “you” as in “you must be feeling so terrible for what I did.”
- You need to explain why you did what you did but in a way where you are accepting complete responsibility for the discretion.
- Offer how you feel as well but not in a selfish way. You need to tell your ex his/her pain really made you feel so guilty and terrible about what you did. You need to express your responsibility for their pain.
- Expect nothing in return for your apology although deep down you want them to wrap their arms around you. Again, express your responsibility and that you will understand totally if they don’t accept your apology or take you back. This is such an important closer in how to apologize after breaking up and you must always express responsibility.
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