Want To Catch Him And KEEP Him? Don’t Make This Common Mistake
Have you ever had this happen to you? You’re in a relationship and things are going great. You sure you don’t think you need any relationship help – you are both feeling the attraction, he is interested in you, you are really into him – then….something….happens. It doesn’t have to be anything big – heck – you may not even know what it was, but suddenly, things start going down-hill. You start to feel insecure and the more you try to reassure yourself that things are fine, the worse they get.
I had the same thing happening to me – repeatedly. My relationships would be going great, then SOMETHING would happen – nothing major usually, and we would start to drift apart. The more we drifted, the harder I tried and the bigger the chasm grew. What I did not understand was that as I grew more and more insecure – I began acting in ways (to try to reassure myself or get reassurance from HIM) that were being interpreted as NEEDY or CLINGY. I, of course, did not recognize what was happening, and kept acting in the same way. Then my relationships would just fizzle away and die – time after time, but I did not know why. The funny thing is – they define insanity as doing the same thing over and over and expecting to get different results!
In my case, and in the case of many other relationships, the biggest mistake was doing the one thing that drives men absolutely NUTS about women – acting needy or insecure. The thing is – most women USE neediness and insecurity as a METHOD to get men to pay more attention to them. Beginning to see the problem?
I read an eBook then by Christian Carter, hoping to get a little relationship help. So that is where I learned this. Anyway – let’s look a little more closely at this common relationship problem and see what we can do about it, shall we?
Ok – something happens – maybe you get your feelings hurt, maybe you feel a flash of jealousy, maybe he has his first “guy’s night out” without you – whatever it may be. This leaves you feeling a little…unsure, uncomfortable, insecure or just plain edgy. So – as women, we are programmed to believe that men are attracted to us because they want to protect and nurture us (which they DO – but not like this). I mean, the squeaky wheel gets the grease, right?
Ya – but not always in the way you want it. But when YOU “squeak” as an adult, using attention seeking behaviors, the man immediately has alarms going off in his head saying “This chick is NEEDY – GET OUT!” This is, I am sure, not exactly the reaction you were looking for. Guys have highly sensitive “radar” for clingy, needy, and insecure behavior. The way a woman speaks, body language or words she uses can quickly tell a man that this woman is having some issues right now. Worst of all, when a man picks up on this – he usually bails because to him, it means she is only going to get worse.
Here are some examples of this needy or insecure behavior:
1- Being dramatic and emotional.
2 – Continually trying to be the center of attention.
3- Hanging on a man or touching him constantly, especially in public.
4 – Talking about negative things about your past boyfriend and past relationships.
5 – Talking or saying negative things about other girls.
And like I said – once he SEES this behavior in you, he starts to see it in everything you do, whether it truly is needy or not. That’s when things start to go to hell in a hand-basket. It ALSO kills any attraction he has for you – that is a death knell for any relationship.
Becoming aware of the affect of your actions on your relationship will do much to prevent any relationship problem that may have come along. Think of it as preventative relationship maintenance! I also suggest you check out the Catch Him and Keep Him eBook by Christian Carter– it will really help you learn ALL the ins and outs of relationship management – and coming from the perspective of a MAN – it is incredibly helpful.
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