Relationship Advice For Women – How Natural And Lasting Attraction Can Be The Foundation Of Your Relationship
In the world of relationship advice, one of the most popular questions we hear is “What can I do to get a commitment from my guy ?” It’s an awful place to be in – that no man’s land between a genuine relationship and “just dating”, isn’t it? The good news is that you can do things to move your relationship OUT of that ugly limbo and into a real groove.
The paramount position to be in is the one in which your man is without a doubt ATTRACTED to you – where he wants to be around you, spend quality time with you and really become an active participant in the relationship. Every woman already knows THAT, though, right? Right.
BUT – are you able to recognize the huge CHASM between attraction of the physical kind and natural and lasting attraction? Too often, girls confuse the physical attraction a man feels for them as a sign that a man wants to really be in “relationship mode”. That’s a perilous mistake to make, but so many women do it all over the world.
Here’s the thing – for men – he can share attraction with you, be warm and caring and really seeming like he is connecting with you, but unless he feels that attraction on a gut LEVEL , it will wither away and so will your relationship.
So what can a gal DO to produce that kind of attraction on a much deeper level? The first thing you have to do is learn how to reach inside your man, past all that man-logic and into his heart or his center. It may very well be that no one has ever touched him (or even YOU) there before, so he may not even have any idea what true and lasting love is, so keep that in mind.
One very common thing that girls that are unsure of their relationship status do is to ask themselves (or even worse, the man) several different questions. Number one – Why doesn’t he want a commitment? The second question is always “Why has he stopped coming over so often/calling me/texting me….etc. The third common question is “Why doesn’t he want to TALK about any of this?
What do these three questions have in common? First of all – these questions are all negative – they are revolving around negative feelings you have. Secondly these questions all relate to HIM – there is nothing about YOU in any of these questions.
Ever heard the old adage that you get what you give? If you are focusing all your thoughts and energies on negative questions, then you are going to get negativity in return. You will get negativity from your beau, from the world around you and everywhere you go because that is what you are projecting.
Most people seem to focus on relationship advice that tells them what to do to turn someone else’s behavior around. They want to hear what to do to manipulate HIM into proposing or giving the woman what she wants. Have you ever consider that your relationships in the past may have failed because you don’t know how to manage them? Reality is that everything YOU do as a person, every relationship you are in, every situation you encounter has ONE thing in common – YOU. Can anyone change you? No. Only YOU can change you. And the same goes for everyone else. So you cannot change your man, BUT – you can show him and lead by example and see how quickly he begins to follow. Get the drift?
So what are some POSITIVE questions you can ask in this situation? Well, how about “What would he want from the relationship”? What can I do to help him move forward in this relationship? What does a commitment MEAN to my beau?
This way, you are considering his needs, and without pressuring him by asking him the questions. You will also be flexing your own muscles of compassion and communication by trying to walk a mile in his moccasins. Has he had bad experiences? Perhaps a jealous or untrusting past girlfriend? A bad relationship with his parents? Does he have all and friends in relationships? Does he want a family?
You need to ascertain what IMPACT do these things have had on him. Maybe having a crazy ex-girlfriend has made him REALLY leery of an untrusting girlfriend. Do you do what you can to HELP that, or not? Do you SHOW him (without words!) that you trust him? Or do you forget about that and fall into attention seeking patterns (like pouting, acting depressed, being clingy or needy) when you think he might be out with the boys or even checking out a nameless woman walking down the street?
Does that make sense to you? My mom used to always say that you teach people how to treat you, and for years I thought that was a crock of horse-crap. Until recently, when I realized that as usual, my mother was RIGHT. If you get yourself into a pattern of trying to understand him and HIS needs in a relationship, I guarantee you that you are going to come out on top in this because he will begin to reciprocate. He will LOVE how you just “understand him” like no woman ever has. Show a man this kind of CONNECTION, and that attraction he has for you will deepen into the natural and lasting attraction needed for starting and maintaining a serious relationship.
There is so much more you can learn about creating and maintaining natural and lasting attraction. Go check out Christian Carter’s program natural and lasting attraction. It is FULL of fabulous relationship advice and is priceless when you are finally ready to have a relationship that lasts and goes beyond all your expectations.
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